I was twelve years old, when I realized there is no God. I am not quite sure how I came to the conclusion, but I think I remember that spring day more than 40 years ago. Must confess thought, that this can be an illusion and a false memory, how can you ever be sure?
We all change and our memories change with us.
Abandoning the idea of God did not change much in my life, because my family was not very religious. It was a habit to go to church on Christmas, but that was about all there was to it.
However, I did not understand, that the world was full of similar things. Things, that we should not believe without questioning them first. Only later, after reading UFO and parapsychology literature, did I realize that a lot of written stuff is complete bullshit. It was a shock, because it was horrible for me not be able to trust what I read from the books.
Later I learned that it is probably not possible to understand everything in this universe. It was an other major disappointment to me, because understanding everything had been my primary goal when I decided to go study physics in the university.
I had been naive again.
Uncertainty and hard work is always present when you want to learn new things. Maybe this uncertainty is so unnatural to human mind, that we rather believe crazy things without questioning, than expose ourselves to tedious learning process and skeptical thinking.
I have no idea what my next shock will be, but whatever it is, I hope I can cherish it as an opportunity to learn still something new.
The fact that I did not achieve my childish goal of understanding everything does not depress me anymore, though at some point it did. Now I think, that even if the universe may be incomprehensible to me, it does not mean it cannot be understood in principle.
It is a long climb that never ends.
A lot of people believe in gods, evil spirits and even to ingenious ex-convicts, who craft solutions to worlds energy problems in their garage.
It is somewhat amazing, that most adult people are able to comprehend Santa Claus is not real, but at the end are somehow unable to generalize the idea.